If you’ve ever struggled with anger, you are probably familiar with the feeling of regret that follows an outburst. You promise yourself: “I’ll never let that happen again.” But then, it happens again. And again. Anger takes away our ability to think rationally. After your anger fades, you regain the ability to think clearly, and you regret what your angry self said or did.

But here’s the thing: Anger isn’t always a bad thing. When controlled, anger helps us. Anger drives us to make changes to situations that are bad, it pushes us to stand up for our rights, and it protects us if our lives are threatened. The problem isn’t having anger, it’s having too much anger, and expressing it in an ineffective way.

Anger management teaches us to deal with our anger in a healthy way. Like the name implies, it teaches us to manage our anger, not extinguish it. Anger management begins with practicing self-awareness–learning to take a step back and see your anger before it takes over your mind. Next, once you’ve learned to catch your anger early, you’ll learn techniques to control it.